Everyone who really knows us, knows that we are a family who loves to travel! Since bringing Mia back with us from China, we have deliberately stayed at home for the entirety of the summer. We just thought it would be best to give her as much time as possible to get used to being a member of our family, and to feel safe and secure in her new home. The girls will be going back to school very soon, so we really wanted to sneak away for a relaxing week at a resort in Cocoa Beach before the hustle of the school year began. Our transition has been going so well, we thought Mia would be just fine with a little getaway. After all, this is us. Travel is what we do. The day before we were scheduled to leave, I tried to explain to her what to expect. And to her credit, during my explanation, she seemed agreeable enough. But she’s four, so it’s really hard to tell how much she truly understood from our conversation. However, the next morning I could feel her anxiety mounting. I spoke calmly to her as I removed both girl’s clothing from the dresser and packed their joint suitcase. With every passing minute, Mia was growing ever more the cling-on, not letting me out of her sight. I held her. I rocked her. Nothing I could say or do would comfort her for long. Before I knew it, Mia had made her little self sick with anxiety. Yes, THAT kind of sick. And she soiled her underpants. Twice. We all gave her hugs and kisses, and lots of reassurance. To be honest, inwardly I was beginning to feel a bit anxious myself about the upcoming two hour car ride, when I remembered that I still had a few pairs of pull-ups from Sydney’s toilet training days. We all made a big deal about Mia’s special princess panties, and off we went. Gratefully, we arrived a few hours later at the resort without incident. This is a terrific family place, and today we are all relaxed and happy. In my earlier days as a mom, I would to do whatever I could, often going to great lengths, to spare my (then single) child any pain. Now that I’m more seasoned in my motherhood, I know that isn’t my job. We all experience discomfort, in a multitude of ways, throughout our lives. To set our children up for the expectation that they should never have to endure negative feelings, is setting them up for failure. As my wonderful friend Ingrid once told me, our job as mothers is not to take away our children’s pain, but instead to have the courage to be present with them in it, and to provide loving support as they learn to manage all of the complicated emotions that make us uniquely human. I hope I was able to do that for Mia yesterday.
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Lisa LynchLisa is a world traveling mom that took the ultimate adventure Archives
December 2012
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